I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
