Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
