too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we're making bets on your personal life
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
