I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
