When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
