Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
