he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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