wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
