she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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