i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
