Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
