It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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