Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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