Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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