i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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