...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
