yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
