If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
