you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
