This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
