I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
