I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
