kristin has been a bad kristin
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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