I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
