I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
