shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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