Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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