Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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