yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
