This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
