hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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