I could have mohawked her pubes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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