Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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