Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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