Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
