So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
