It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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