I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
