I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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