you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
