I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
handjob tips. give me some.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
