I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
