eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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