We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
