Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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