You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
