I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
