I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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