i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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