i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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