i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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