OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
