He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
