i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
