I'm drive I can fine osifer
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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