he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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