When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
well you can't waste a boner
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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