Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
