I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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